Nikki's world

WHHHYYYYY?

2010-08-16T20:57:00.001-07:00

Why do people exist in a world where all they think about is how others are trying to make their lives misearable or cause drama? Do you honestly think that people have so much time in the day that they literally sit around and think of ways to screw you over, lie, cheat, steal or whatever else the f you think they do? Get over yourself!

Do you know what the worse part is.....when it is family who is diong this to you! :(

Payin' it forward in Tulare

2010-06-11T14:50:00.000-07:00

On many occasion I have been known to add a few tacos or burritos to my order at Taco Bell and give them to the men and women who are frequently seen homeless near our home. Today was a special day.

As I left taco bell in route to the man whose food I had just ordered I was confronted by cool phenomenon. As I approached the man I noticed two other individuals (a man and a woman) who were well dressed already talking with him and seemingly praying with him. It struck me as odd because it appears that more often than not people just tend to pass these individuals by.

I kindly interrupted and said "excuse me sir, you and your puppy appeared hungry earlier when I saw you so here you go. BUT, you have to share with your puppy". His reply "thank you so much mam, and don't you worry, he goes with me everywhere, whatever is mine is his". I then said sorry for interrupting and I took my leave. The looks on the other two people's faces were priceless. They exchanged exclamations to each other, God, and to me saying "God bless you" as I left.

It was comforting to me that God had a plan bigger than mine and knew that the three of us would join forces on this particular day at this particular time to help this man and his puppy for a few short minutes of the day!

Thank you for my lesson Lord! :)

4 days and counting...

2010-06-10T21:35:00.001-07:00

Four days. It has been four days since my hubby and I have ceased communication. It does not appear that the stalemate will be ceasing soon but I sure wish it would. We have always had great communication but lately not so much.

I am at such a loss right now. I know for the most part I am writing to cyberspace but sometimes it helps to get it all out. I love him, he is a wonderful man and person....but what is it to be in love.

Met young, fell in love young, married young. Young=no life experience has been had. I have been struggling. Maturity is an issue (for both parties in different ways). I like my independence, and do not necessarily want a solely traditional marriage but I think cooking, cleaning, taking out the trash, trash can take out and pick-up, laundry, dog care (food and excretion), lawns, gardening, weeding, etc. is a little much to be put solely on a woman's shoulders. We are both full time employees so the duties should be shared right?

In the meantime I am left....simply....counting!

Feel the burn!

2010-05-04T20:54:00.001-07:00

My hubby and I have been dumping money monthly into a gym for over a year now. Working out, not working out, working out, not working out....the vicious cycle has been anything but consistent. Thus our decision to cancel our membership.

No sooner was this decision made than we were approached by a friend about a personal trainer in our neighborhood who was offering a 3 day a week personal training program with cardio, wt. training and nutrition education. Better yet, the price was right and a pre-paid 6 month commitment (even more reason to stick with it) will enable us to keep motivated.

Monday began week three for us. So far we are doing great. I have realized how weak I am but how much I want to change that. I cannot do a full push-up without using a leg for support, my squats are pathetic, my abs nothing but a storage for fat and my arms....wow....!

BUT....I know I am getting stronger. I feel pumped. I love feeling sore. I love sweating. I love the pain. I look forward to being able to hold a plank for more than a minute. I look forward to loosing inches. I look forward to clothes fitting as they should. I cannot wait to fulfill my one fitness wish....A PULL-UP!!!

I hope to review this post in six months stronger, faster and more fit than I have ever been! Wish me luck readers (all two of you) ;)

Guilt

2010-04-30T09:28:00.000-07:00

Now I am as fond of social networking as the next person (or most of them anyway) but even I have to take a step back and realize how damaging it can be; if not for the person exposing their entire life, but also in instances where people post things they should not.

Case in point. Last night before bed I thought I would take a situation that happened to me at school and turn it into a funny and post it for a few good laughs on facebook. Mission accomplished...I did get the funny comments but I also go some very humbling ones from people who saw not the funny, but the true turmoil behind the post. Guilt set in.

I immediately wanted to kick myself in the fanny. Why did I do that? I am not that kind of person. Why do I continue to disappoint myself when I know I can do better? I sought out humor at the expense of a student who is going through a really hard time. A student whom I truly adore; how could I be so malicious?

Needless to say, the post was deleted by me immediately. I hope I can be forgiven! Can anyone relate!?

Looking Forward

2010-01-01T11:28:00.000-08:00

I am not much one for new year's resolutions as most of the time they are only followed for a few short weeks before the hustle and bustle of life takes over. However, this year in particular I have learned a lot about myself and my relationship with my husband. Lessons that were not always pleasant, however lessons that were meaningful and relationship altering.

This year I hope to continue to change my heart. Change the way I react in certain situations. Change the way I communicate. Change the way I love. Change the way I fight. This year is going to be about change for me; but positive, loving changes!

Further, even though December's "give" challenge is over, I want to continue with give. I want to give to someone, or something, everyday! It makes me feel good and I know the recipient's do as well. I challenge everyone to continue to "give" throughout 2010.

Happy New Year everyone!

Give 12/28/09

2009-12-28T19:27:00.000-08:00

Well, this may not be a traditional give, but I am "giving" back to literature these last few days and coming weeks. My newest ambition is to go back and re-read, or read for the first time whole heartedly that is all the wonderful literature of my childhood. Often times in grade school wonderful teachers ask us to read great works of art that as an adult we can appreciate whole heartedly but as a ten year old, could care less about. I was one of those said ten year olds.

Instead of read the material, I often crammed and skimmed through just to get by on the current worksheet or pop quiz. As an adult I know that those novels were full of wonderous adventures. Though they may be written at a fourth or fifth grade level, I do not care, I will go back and read all of them.

My list:

1.) Island of the Blue Dolphins (will finish this one tonight) LOVED IT...I cannot believe I did not give it the time when I was asked to read it in 5th grade!
2.) Hatchet (I did read most of this one but I want to refresh my memory)
3.) The Giver
4.) The Witch of Blackbird Pond
5.) Bridge to Tarabithia
6.) The Cage
7.) The entire Chronicles of Narnia series
8.) Animal Farm
9.) The Crucible

If you can think of any I missed, please let me know! Thanks readers!

The Love Dare

2009-12-16T17:18:00.001-08:00

This is to all you married gals out there. I have discovered a new book The Love Dare by Stephen and Alex Kendrick. I discovered by complete accident last week at Borders while my hubby and I were digesting our Applebee's 2 for $20.00 dinner fiesta!

This particular was lying on a display shelf amongst other 1/2 priced books. The Love Dare however, was misplaced on this shelf as there were no other copies of it and it was not on sale. Coincidence? I wonder.

I started to peruse the copy and immediately fell in love. The Love Dare is a book dedicated to serving your spouse, expressing nothing but love, kindness, and thoughtfulness, placing his/her needs above your own, etc. The dare is over a forty day period where readers are to complete a dare each day.

The book is full of wonderful uplifting scripture and excellent commentary. I often find myself agreeing with the authors and saying "oooo, I do that...oppps!" However, sometimes it takes a mirror held in front of your face before we can truly learn something. I have never been so uplifted about marriage and have so enjoyed the powerful words I have read.

I have been using The Love Dare as my "give" for the last four days and it has been great. I highly recommend this book to any married couple.

Give 12/13/09
Love is Patient

Today's dare was about being patient with my spouse. The dare: Speak only kindness to my husband. If I did not have anything nice to say, do not say anything at all. A simple concept yes, but when one takes stock into all of the negative comments that escape our mouths daily, it is amazingly eye opening when you focus on only communicating in a positive manner. Though my hubby knows I purchased the book I am not so sure that what the book is about or what I was doing on this particular day has fully registered, but I did notice the reciprocating of that patience with my husband to myself. I have tried (and succeeded for the most part) in implementing this strategy for the last four days!

Give 12/14/09
Love is Kind

Today was all about giving. Showing acts of kindness has always been something I have felt I have been particularly good at but not so lucky in receiving in my marriage. The dare: do a random act of kindness for your spouse. On this day I decided that is not what it is about, that he gives in his own way. For today's dare I gave to my husband through an act of kindness by remembering to not say anything negative (from the Love is Patient dare) as well as preparing his lunch for him for the following day; something I need to make a habit as I think it would be something he would truly appreciate.

Normally I would not have expected much notice at this kind act I had completed but today I received a phone call from my honey on the way to work thanking me for making his lunch for him! God works in the most awesome of ways!

Give 12/15/09
Love is not selfish

Yikes! I dread the 'S' word. My mom often used it as a label to torture me as a child. I have never fully recovered from that stigma. I hear the word and I automatically relate it to me. Am I a selfish person? I am sure we all are at times, but on a regular basis I would love to answer with a no. Today, in addition to not saying anything negative my dare was to act out of unselfishness. To do something for my spouse just because. To give to him a gift that says "I was just thinking about you". My give was a note saying exactly the previous with a few of his favorite chocolate candies on the counter before I left for work. To date, I still have not heard about that gift from my hubby; oh well! :(

So far The Love Dare has really shown me a lot about myself in just four short days. I hope and pray that I continue to grow and love my husband as best as I can and maybe get him to read this wondeful book as well!

Give 12/11/09

2009-12-11T19:29:00.001-08:00

Normally I am to busy to pay that extra dollar to save this or that at the checkout of the local businesses I purchase at; however, due to our December "give" challenge I remembered to think outside of my own life. It may be small and very insignificant but I donated a dollar to Children's Hospital today when we ordered pizza from Me 'N' Eds!! :)

I hope it helps to save the life of a sick child. :)

Why not, thanks for the idea Sar!

2009-12-10T20:45:00.000-08:00

Dear Santa,

I know that times are tight right now. I know that Cacy and I have decided to forgo giving each other gifts this year but I thought what the heck, why not put my list out there anyway! I think I have been a fairly decent individual this year, learning to be a better wife everyday and striving to succeed in all that I do; I hope that is at least enough to get me off the naughty list!

My heart's desires this year:

1.) New Ariat pro baby riding boots, mine are getting pretty worn out

2.) Irrigation boots, nothing fancy, but after this week I realize how valuable those ugly rubber boots can be

3.) The "Love and Respect" book

4.) The "Total Money Makeover" book

5.) VS gift card so I can get some new panties to replace the ones the furkids KEEP CHEWING UP!!!

6.) VS Love Spell body spray

7.) VS Amber Romance body spray

8.) Boot Barn gift card

9.) Circle N gift card to get goodies for my horsey's

10.) I have always wanted my very own pair of Ugg boots...the real ones. I usually just settle for the $20.00 Big 5 brand! :) Size 9 (women's)

11.) Comfy sherpa slippers!

12.) I hope that the many displaced and abused animals of this world get adopted to find forever homes

Well Santa, maybe this list can find its way to my hubby as we have decided to at least do stockings.........can Uggs fit into stockings? HAHAHA, jk, there is a strict monetary limit! Merry Christmas Santa, I will make sure to leave out milk, cookies and carrots for you on Christmas Eve!

Give 12/9/09

2009-12-09T20:30:00.000-08:00

One of my new students (just recently transferred from inner city LA) in my Biology class has only been with me for approximately two weeks (two weeks late into the new trimester). Having transferred from inner city LA, and associated with some not so upstanding citizens in that region, my student has a bit of a reputation. Looking for a clean start, he has began his education at Woodlake Highs School.

Since he has entered my class he has done nothing but improve daily. He works hard, turns in his homework, participates in class, completes assignments with accuracy and in a timely fashion; essentially, he should be an inspiration to my other students. Today, as I was sitting in my office afters school this student infiltrated my mind.

Knowing his family speaks Spanish I wrote a quick memo in English praising their son and his efforts in my class over the last few weeks. After I wrote the note I utilized an online translation database and had my English version translated into a Spanish version. After having one of our office receptionists give my note a once over to make sure all grammar was correct, I plopped that note into the outgoing mail. It was just as exciting as putting a letter to Santa in the mailbox bound for the North Pole. I was delirious with excitement at the anticipation of his parents receiving such positive news.

I am so excited for my student's parents. All to often parents receive negative information about their student from the school they are attending; I wanted their next correspondence to be a good one! I hope today's "give" lands itself right, smack dab, on the refrigerator!

Give 12/8/09

2009-12-08T19:24:00.001-08:00

Some of you might be surprised to find out that I am not perfect. I know, I know, big shocker.....pause to let you all recover from your shock

I am a woman of many faults. Some of my largest are in regards to my precious husband. I am critical, easy to anger, demanding, unforgiving (I tend to hold grudges for ohhhh......ten years or so), and probably not the most respectful wife I wish to be. Oh wait, did I say probably, I mean definitely NOT the most respectful wife I can be!

The last couple days my give have been dedicated to my hubby. Giving of myself (wink, wink), giving of respect, giving of unconditional love, giving of patience (sometimes the hardest one). Tonight that patience and respect came into play.

We love to play! Sometimes that play becomes rough and people get hurt. What can I say, he is stronger than me so I feel the need to resort to a no-rules approach; if that includes biting, scratching and clawing, so be it! :)

On tonights rumble, while I was making dinner, the hubster came in to play around trying to get me into some sort of arm hold (UFC style). I responded by locking his head with my arm and giving him a few light (maybe a little harder than that actually) slams in the kidney area. This continued for a few minutes. One one such maneuver where my hubby was attempting to block my move with his knee, it plumeted directly into my nether-regions. Let's just say I am 100% sure I can not longer bear children. I seriously thought he cracked my pubic bone.

Immediately I was on the floor in tears. Of course being the ever so understanding lady I am, I embraced his comforting gestures and told him it was okay........UH NOT! Instead I sat on the kitchen floor crying, ignoring him all the while with him trying to comfort me.

I know what you are thinking.........where is the "give" in this situation?? Well......the normal me would have ignored him the rest of the night, acting in complete ignorance that it truly was an accident. My brain and heart know he did not do it on purpose, I know he feels like shit and I know the last thing on the face of this planet he wants is for me to be in any pain whatsoever.

Instead, I did the not-me thing, which felt fantastic afterward (despite the throbbing stabbing pain that sill hurts as I type this post). After crying for a minute or two (and I admit, ignoring him a little) I got up and walked away, when he followed, I turned around and wrapped my arms around his neck givng him a hug. He uttered sympathetic words of apology yet again and I responded with "I know you're sorry baby, it just hurt so bad. I know you did not mean to hurt me...".

I have never been so willing to forgive so quickly. I loved it! I have truly been trying to be a more respectful wife to my hubby. I hope this is a positive step in the right direction. I know my "give" to my hubby may not have registered on many people's radar, but I know it registered on his.

Give 12/5/09

2009-12-06T12:16:00.000-08:00

Last night I went out with my girlies for some serious dancing (well, as serious as a white girl can be anyway). There were some "interesting" people there (as expected when hanging out in a bar), but for the most part, there were some pretty normal homo Sapiens present. One lady who was particularly "needy" was dancing and loving up on anything with legs....yes, you read correctly, gender had no bearing on her prospects.

She was alone as far as I could tell and extremely drunk. During the course of the evening I kept noticing her leaving possessions around, easily taken by the wrong individual. At one point she dropped her cell phone which proceeded to be kicked across the dance floor by someone. Noticing this I got up to retrieve it. I returned her phone to the DJ as I was not going to "cut in" on whatever it was she thought she was doing with the gentlemen caller at her side.

I felt good about my "give" as in this day and age someone would have jumped at the thought of a lost cell phone. Just abandon the sim card for yours and wa-la! Later, after she noticed her phone missing, she frantically searched. The DJ returned her phone to her, pointed me out in the crowd and I was all but attacked by this woman who was very grateful at my act. Humbled as I am, I meekly said your welcome and continued on with my evening....however in her eyes, that simple act of doing the right thing, truly made her happy. For me doing the right thing comes easily, for her, she must not have that experience often. I am glad I was able to help!

Inspired by Sarah!

2009-12-06T12:02:00.000-08:00

Give: 12/4/09

As a teacher I find myself "giving" nearly everyday. Not because I "have" to, but because my students come from low socioeconomic status' and I think the smallest compliment is worth more to them than anything. Having said that, my give for Friday was as follows:

One of my freshmen Christian is in his 2nd go-around in my Biology A class. Still to immature for his own good, he is noticeably trying harder this trimester and I can see the elation in his eyes when he can answer a question in class with a raised hand (even though the content is a repeat for him, I am still very proud). Friday we had a chapter test; he bombed it. Instead of just giving up on him, I "gave" to him. I found him at lunch, told him his score and let him come in to "fix" the questions he got wrong (essentially giving him a second chance). He was very grateful. I re-graded his test on the spot and felt so good at giving him a 78% instead of the 40% he received originally. He was so grateful and left with a big smile on his face due to his accomplishment!

Give # 1-check! ;)

Borrowed from Sarah

2009-11-15T09:00:00.000-08:00

20 years ago (November 1989)

Age? 7
Were you in school? Elementary school 2nd grade, Mrs. Bucannon's class.
Where did you work? Did not work at the age of 7, but I was pretty good at being the bossy older sister!
Where did you live? In a rented house in Visalia before my parents built their home in Exeter.
What were your regular haunts? Home and Jill's house
Did you wear glasses? Nope.
Who was your best friend? Jillian Spiedel
How many tattoos did you have? Helllllllloooooooo, seven years old remember!!
How many piercings did you have? Just one in each ear, my mom had them pierced when I was 6 months old!!
What did you drive? My Schwinn banana seat with big daisy flowers on the seat bike...that was pink might I add!!
What was your biggest goal? To play and not get into trouble!

Ten years ago (November 1999)

Age? 17
Were you in school? Yes, High School in good ol' E town!
Where did you work? Hmmmmm.......pretty sure I was working for Lifetime Nutrition.
Where did you live? Exeter where my mommy and daddy built their home in the country.
What were your regular haunts? Cacy's house, Christie's house, Saturday night bowling!
Did you wear glasses? No.
Who was your best friend? Cacy and Christie
How many tattoos did you have? At that time in my life I thought tattoos were absolutely ridiculous and swore I would never have one! (can you say foreshadow?)
How many piercings did you have? 7. 2 holes in each ear, plus two in the cartilage in my left ear and one in the cartilage of my right ear.
What did you drive? I don't even want to talk about it. Ha! It was a 1990 yellow, yes yellow but let me clarify; it was a Pee Pee yellow Mitsubishi Mighty Max truck with vinyl seats, no air conditioning, and a manual transmission! I bet you are thinking super hot right!! :)
What was your biggest goal? To graduate high school and get a 4.0 on my senior exit portfolio and interview (yes I know, NERD)!

Five Years Ago (November 2004)

Age? 22
Were you in school? Yes, newly married and working toward a BS degree in Criminology.
Where did you work? I was a bank teller for Wells Fargo...WORST JOB EVER!!!
Who were your best friends? Cacy and Narissa
How many tattoos did you have? Still thought they were dumb!
How many piercings did you have? Same as before minus one of the cartilage piercings.
What did you drive? A 1991 white Toyota Corolla, LOVED this little car! :)

One Year Ago (November 2008)

Were you in school? Yes, I was working toward my teaching credential at Chapman University
Where did you work? In my current profession now as a HS Biology teacher.
Where did you live? In the house we have now...wow, I cannot believe we have a house for one and we have been here just over a year....WOW!!
What were your regular haunts? Home! :)
What was your favorite song? Too many to list.
Do you wear glasses: Nope
Who were your best friends? Cacy
What was your prized possession? My horse and my dogs.
What did you drive? My 2007 Ford Focus SE
What were you looking forward to? Thanksgiving to have a few days off!!

As of today (November 2009)

Age? 27
Are you in school? No
Where do you work? Same job, HS Biology teacher.
Where do you live? Same
What are your regular haunts? Home and work and my parents house (horses live there)
Do you wear glasses? No.
Who is your best friend? Cacy
Do you talk to your old friends? Some, just recently one more than most! ;)
How many tattoos do you have? 2. One on one foot and one on the other! I know, I know...but I only got them because they actually mean something to me, I put them in a place easily covered up and I LOOOVVEEE both...no regrets!
How many piercings do you have? One hole in each ear and I just recently as of a couple months ago got my naval pierced...random I know. Why? More secure in my body than I have ever been. Wanted to do something so not me (that was easily rectifiable if need be) and Cacy thought it would be sexy and he is the only one who will be seeing it anyway! ;)
What do you drive? Same 2007 Ford Focus SE that I soooo want to be rid of!!

My Give to My Friend

2009-11-04T18:49:00.000-08:00

I began this blog at the end of October as a dedication to one of my oldest and dearest friends. While it has taken me several months to put myself into it and several changes of title: Title one: To follow or to lead, Title two: Envy or admiration?, Title three: Dedicated to Sarah, Title four: To Nala from Simba, and finally my chosen title: My give to my friend!

I wanted to preface my blog with this short interlude so that you may understand how long I have been working on it and that this blog was not just in response to December's give challenge but morphed itself into a give and was completed during the challenge period! The blog post is as follows:

I am a creature of habit. As much as I feel like I have changed in my adult life, sometimes I feel as though I am still that same, insecure little girl, still trying to find her way in the big bad world of high school. I have always considered myself a leader, but in reality, I am a follower.

I do not "follow" in the traditional sense where I let others make my decisions for me; instead I tend to be inspired and take my lead from those closest to me. As I only have one follower of my blog that I know of, this blog is dedicated to her. ;)

You came into my life in Jr. High. You were the strange outsider infiltrating our small country school. You were different. You were from the "city". You were (still are) incredibly smart and beautiful. Immediately, I wanted to know you. I felt this tug to know you. I felt a longing to be your friend.

Fast friends we became as you quickly realized our small country school was full of people who were not so nice and tried very hard to make the lives of others miserable. They were miserable to you, I was there to comfort. They were miserable to me, you were there to comfort. Inseparable we became.

The years flew but the education and life experience still influences me today. My first skinny dip, my first best friends necklace, my first Spanish lessons, my first parade (you rode Blue and I the float), my first bff's mom who I wanted as my own, the most awesome tree swing in existence, awesome sleep overs (especially on Friday so we could watch the TGIF shows on ABC), sliding down the stairs in a sleeping bag going mock 3 and crashing at the bottom, makeup and hair experimentation's (I will never forget your experiment with bangs....not a good choice with that cowlick you have). Though those experiences were fun filled, I also learned about things for which I will forever be grateful and things that are still apart of my life today.

God. Your influence, experience, and friendship guided me to a more intimate relationship with God. I attended True Love Waits after you introduced the concept to me. You were there when I got baptized. You were there when I decided to swear off Halloween one year because your convictions were so strong. My walk with Christ was inspired and fueled by your own experiences and hardships; you gave me the guidance only a friend could when the biblical mumbo jumbo got in the way.

Horses. Though my love for horses was established as soon as I left the womb (in my opinion) I had never had the resources nor the education to fulfill my life long dream much past drooling at any horse I passed along side the road. You and your family had horses; my fate was sealed. I will never forget Blue. The mild-mannered gray mare who was bomb proof in an arena, a parade, or down the road, and with any passenger you placed on her back. A great teacher for me, an inspiration and an envy; I will never forget her. Misty, the horse I would have to "work up" to, for she was a one owner kinda gal. Great partners with your mamma, she was hot, fast, responsive, and the inspiration for me as an adult to want to have a relationship with a horse like that. Oakey, who I still think is with us and your daddy right down the street from my parents. It sure looks like him. The young colt still learning to become a man. Your dad's buddy. Again, a relationship with an equine partner I wanted so desperately.

You. The rider I wanted to become. The confidence I wanted to learn. The experience I so desperately wanted to acquire. Because of your families influence with horses I fulfilled my dream. I got my first mare which I was able to keep at your house. The teen years and absence of our friendship took me away from horses for awhile but they are back in my life with a flame unsurpassed. Thank you for that. I have fulfilled my dream. I have established a partnership, I have challenged my experience, and I am teaching my own young boy to become a man. I am not sure all this would have happened if not for your influence.

Enter HS...ugggghhh! The ugly part!

Newly freed from our small country school we entered an entirely new kind of pond. We were small fishes in this new ecosystem (there is the biology teacher coming out in me). From day one I knew things would be different. I knew I was scared and I knew I needed my friend for support, for security. Was that right, no, but I knew no other way. Yet, I knew things were going to change. You were determined to leave the ugliness from SU behind you; I wanted to do the same. I felt this would be our chance to start over....little did I know we would not embark on this adventure together.

The final nail in the coffin came on one fateful day, I will never forget as long as I live, but feel that finally I have gotten over it, moved past it, and re-kindled a friendship I thought I would never have again. :) After weeks of being the "third wheel", in many ways my fault as back then I did not stand up for myself, was incredibly shy and introverted and very much a follower and not a leader, I was left once and for all.

You and our once arch enemy, T. Cannon and I (I will pause while you laugh and reflect on how stupid you said the choice was for becoming friends with her after we hated her for so long) were walking down the corridor (me in the background not engaging in the conversation as I should have been) when you spotted one of the senior hunk-a-munks with a cool orange pick up truck (name will be left out as I know you know who I am talking about ;) ) . You and T. Cannon proceeded to runnnn to him and ask him to take you to lunch that day (me all the while knowing his truck could only hold two passengers along with the driver). I waited, hoping I would be included in this lunch time activity.........sadly I was not! Instead you girls trotted off with senior hunk-a-munk, never looking back at me; I waited, nothing. That was the first of many days spent in the library during lunch doing "homework".

Yes I know, boo-hoo, this is not a woes-me speech. It is okay, you know why, because look at where we have come. I found friends that led me to the circle where I met and feel in love with my husband. You found friends that you met and led you to the circle's that led you to San Diego where your life began and you found your husband. The path may have been harsh, but the journey was worthy and the result heavenly. Faith that the Lord knew what he was doing should have been what I relied on, sadly, when life is harsh, faith can be hard to live on.

Enter the present (approximately 2007 ish).

My life was again changed the day I saw Sarah Oliveira as a profile on myspace. WOW, I thought! I wonder how she is doing. My second thought, does she still know me? Timidly I sought out her friendship through myspace and was enthralled with her comments and postings on life. I read about her heartbreaks, triumphs, and sacrifices. I knew that my long time friend was still there at her core, but seriously compromised. My heart ached for her to "Sarah" again.

2009

I have a new passion, blog reading. I have never had so much insight into a person's world before your blog spot. I have been caught up on the last 10 years (some of which was so painful I wanted to cry for you, my dear friend). I felt the need to protect you, something I think only true friends will always feel for the other person. I learned of your journeys and adventures, your mistakes and your victories. I have never been so proud to see the changes I have seen recently and to see my friend emerge from the ashes a brilliantly sophisticated and successful, blessed, beautiful woman.

After taking stock of this blog post I find myself apprehensive about pushing that "publish post" big orange button! Will this be perceived as negative, too much information, with admiration, obsessiveness........yikes, here comes the anxiety. I think I am just going to have to go with faith on this one. This post, two months in the making, is from my heart, the words I have always wanted you to know. Sarah Leanne you were my first "best friend" (I don't count kindergarten and primary school) and you taught me a lot. I am proud to know you and prouder that you are here in my present and there for me when I need you; somehow, despite the absence I secretly always knew you would be.

I will end with this, I have never forgotten who you were and are, and though you have had thoughts within the last few years questioning that very idea, I knew you would always find your way back.

Love ya girlie!

Here goes nothing!! (pause for a gulp as I move my mouse over to the publish post button)

As the world turns

2009-09-15T19:16:00.000-07:00

The word that is constantly in my brain right now is life. Life. A word with four letters yet it feels like it carries the weight of the entire English language. My life has had rainbows and thunderstorms, hurricanes, and droughts; all the while leaving me contemplative yet longing for something more, something in the future.

Life as a teacher finds me in treacherous waters. I struggle to keep up, to make a difference, to learn, and keep my head above water. This coupled with making a home and living a life with my husband is most difficult. I have lived a life full of wonderment.

My husband and I have been together for 10 years in July 2010, married for 5 in October of this year. He has been my "only" experience in anything considered relational (let your mind wander, you will undoubtedly be correct). Though the ignorance of my youth portrayed this situation as ideal (given my religious background) I now find well into adulthood this lack of experience has made it very hard to adapt to a life where one partner has grown and continued to improve and change while the other has remained stagnant.

Uncharted territory is where my life has led me now. I have a husband who loves, respects and adores me. I on the other hand am lost for words. I feel new, reborn, changed. Trying to fit him in the mix has been most difficult.

How does one tackle life when life is tackling her!? As for now, the world continues to turn!

Game on!

2009-04-12T17:06:00.000-07:00

In true Wightman tradition, the anual Wightman cousin volleyball game commenced earlier this afternoon. To our dumbfounded amazement, the boys handed our asses to us as us girls were left scratching our heads! Actually in all reality what a blast the game was. We screamed and laughed, digged, hit, jumped, fell and crashed our way around the court. It was a blast.

Times like the one above make me so happy to be a Wightman. I love my family. Sure we are loud, we flower stories and we tend to be all up in each other's business but at the end of the day, they have my back, they tell me what's up even when I am not ready to hear the truth and I love them to the end of time!

Happy Easter everyone!

Bummed

2009-04-08T09:11:00.000-07:00

This morning, while enjoying my vacation slumber I was awakened by my Taylor Swift ringtone only to discover a very long weird phone number. Automatically knowing it was my brother due to the early hour and weird digits, I eagerly answered. To my disappointment I could not hear him on the other side. I should preface this with the fact that he has left for his second tour in Iraq and his phone call this morning was significant in the fact that he obviously made it there unscathed.

How frustrating and wonderful technology can be. Technology can connect the ages yet when it backfires, it can be devastating. I hope he can call again soon. Miss you bro, be safe and again like I always tell you, come home...but with a heart beat! (I say the previous because when I tell him to be safe and come home he always says "Oh I'll come home....in one way or another!"......JERK!)

New to blogger

2009-04-06T20:56:00.001-07:00

Inspired by a long time friend, I thought I would give this whole Blog thing a try. What is it about the vastness of cyberspace where one can have a proverbial diarrhea of the mouth and feel so much better than having to explain it to someone face to face.

Anyway, just thought I would see what this was all about, give it a try and see where it takes me. I hope I do not disappoint!